Nowadays, there is a lot of pressure on parents concerning “perfection”. There are high expectations for them to be perfect and for their children to be perfect as well. However, are parents supposed to be perfect? 

Have you ever wondered if childhood trauma may be caused by the parents themselves? Is it possible? 

The term “trauma” is described as unpleasant and disturbing experiences that are emotionally distressing, and affect the person’s ability for coping.

This article aims to break the silence about the unresolved childhood trauma in parents and parenting styles. Keep reading to learn more about the crucial effects of parents on their children’s well-being when there is no place for perfect parents. It is all about good enough parents. 

Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma is defined as any type of abuse that may cause harm or has the potential to do so, such as emotional, psychological, sexual, or even verbal, committed by a parent, guardian, or any other person.

You’d be surprised to know how often children experience trauma. By the age of 16, more than two-thirds of children had experienced at least one traumatic event

Examples of childhood trauma include

What is not mentioned above is that trauma is often caused by parents having unresolved traumas in their childhood. These unresolved childhood traumas in parents are closely tied and related to their parenting styles.

Parents’ Childhood Trauma

Parents having unresolved traumas in their childhood affect the way they parent and impact their child’s development. Childhood trauma includes exposure to violence, neglect, abuse, or witnessing others being harmed; parental alcohol or drug abuse; lack of parental supervision, consistent discipline, and adequate nutrition growing up.

When parents are unable to resolve trauma from their own childhood, this can cause problems for the whole family.

As a parent, trauma can impact how you react to stress, regulate your emotions, and perceive danger. In addition, a mother with unresolved trauma from her childhood may be emotionally unavailable for her own children.

If you exhibit any of these symptoms and signs, you have likely been living and coping with unresolved trauma:

When a parent is flooded with reactivity (under-responding or over-responding ), the child learns that “Mommy can not really help me.”

Some parents have a dark or traumatic past that affects their parenting styles and causes their children to have bad experiences. Rather than coming face to face with the reality of trauma, it is often ignored or denied.

Despite efforts to overcome the effects of trauma, parenting can bring out any scars that are still there. Unresolved trauma makes it difficult for parents to react to stressful parenting situations.

Parenting Styles

It would be great if events from the past remained in the past. However, the transmission of parental childhood trauma to children’s behavioral problems is a crucial topic to tackle! Parenting may be difficult in a variety of ways for parents who have gone through trauma. For example, higher levels of persistent mother trauma are linked to poor parenting outcomes, such as the risk of child abuse, parental anger, psychological aggressiveness, and physical discipline.

Parenting is one of the most critical factors that are crucial to look at when thinking about the potential transmission of trauma in two generations and its ability to be an intervention forum.

Parenting styles range from demanding and controlling, to complete freedom; and from cold and unresponsive, to loving and receptive. 

Authoritarian Parents

You should take into consideration the carb to protein ratio when your goal is building muscle mass. CompleAuthoritarian parents believe that strict rules are necessary to make their children behave well and integrate into society. Their kid is ordered to stop crying if he starts. They send their daughter to the corner for a timeout if she responds. If she forgets to take care of her responsibilities and duties around the house, she is not allowed to play with her toys.
In this way, the child learns to suppress his emotions. The child learns to be obedient in order to win his parents’ love and to avoid making them upset. However, because the child was never permitted to take his own decisions, or follow his interests, as an adult, he might not know what he truly wants. He begins living a life that seems ideal and perfect to his parents and society but might leave him unhappy and dissatisfied on the inside. x carbs and proteins in the mass gainer should be present in the ratio of 3:1.

Permissive Parents

Proteins should come from slow-medium and fast-release sources, like whey proteins. Most mass gainers are a blend of protein sources that ensure that the amino acids are steadily Permissive parents love their child so deeply that they believe that they should grant and fulfill all his wishes, giving him full freedom and never saying “no”. Their child enjoys full control over his parents and receives whatever he wants. He will be carried if he does not want to move by himself. He will undoubtedly get the ice cream he desires. If he wants to play games, he will stay up all night playing.
Their child grows up completely without boundaries and does whatever he thinks is right. He never learned to deal with conflicts and issues, and he did not learn to control his emotions. The fact that he always got what he wanted to be made him a bad loser. As he grows older, he frequently exhibits irresponsibility and lacks self-awareness.  released into your bloodstream, rather than just digested quickly.

Authoritative Parents

These parents recognize their child’s needs, but they also think that kids need freedom within some degree of limits. Their child is allowed to play freely, but when he’s done, he must assist in tidying up. He is allowed to eat ice cream, but only on Saturdays. Screen time is restricted to 30 minutes a day. There may be disagreements, but the parents listen to what their child has to say before setting the ground rules.  
This child learns that certain things are challenging, but his parents have provided him with all the support he needs to get through them. He develops the strength to face hardships and to continue following his interests, passions, and hobbies. In class, he bravely and fearlessly expresses his own views in an appropriate manner. He is free to express his feelings and act naturally.   
As an adult, he agrees to rules only after they have been discussed and he feels like he understands them.

Neglectful Parents

Typically, neglectful parents are not present in their children’s lives. The child may often experience frequent feelings of isolation. She has unlimited freedom to do whatever she wants. She has plenty of imagination, but she is never shown love, affection, or even attention. The child understands that it doesn’t matter what she does because no one cares and no one will notice anyway.
The lack of attention leads to a lack of trust in herself and others. She forms unhealthy connections, feels insecurely attached, is unable to form healthy relationships, and develops a negative image of herself. To stop the feeling of being unworthy of love, she tries not to feel anything at all.

In recent years, overly involved parents tend to be the ones who are present in every aspect of their child’s life. These parents are also referred to as “snow plows”, who remove obstacles off their children’s paths, or “helicopter” parents, who hover about and closely monitor every aspect of their child’s life. Since they won’t let their children do anything alone, the children can’t learn to overcome obstacles on their own.

According to research, these children don’t like to solve difficult problems, lack perseverance, and may tend to procrastinate and postpone when something requires a lot of effort.

How are the children affected?

Teens and adults may exhibit all of the above warning signals as well as the following

As you can see, unresolved childhood trauma in parents flows to their children. And that’s how, it is like a cycle, where all of the family is being affected.

Recent studies are shining the light on the effects unresolved childhood traumas in parents have on their own children. This is significant to understand because it implies that much of your childhood experiences—whether you are aware of them or not— influence your parenting style today.

Recovering from childhood trauma

The root of trauma may unfortunately stay unresolved. However, if left untreated, one may experience difficulties with emotional regulation, difficulties in relationships, low self-esteem, as well as demonstrating a weak outlook on life.

Help is always available. Denial should not be an option as it can cause more problems in both, the parent’s and the child’s life.

Once you are aware that you should seek help for your unresolved childhood trauma, this implies that you are thinking right for your sake and your children’s sake. Therefore, you can identify your triggers, build coping mechanisms and strategies, and lessen the symptoms in a supportive and encouraging environment.

The most common therapies used to recover from childhood trauma

Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT)

Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy CBT.This evidence-based strategy, which is built on family support and the involvement of dependable parents and caregivers in the healing process, combines trauma-sensitive interventions with cognitive behavioral techniques, humanistic principles, and family support.Children, teens, and adolescents who are experiencing severe emotional challenges as a result of a traumatic event can benefit from TF-CBT. Twelve to fifteen sessions are usually required.

Cognitive processing therapy (CPT)

A subtype of cognitive-behavioral treatment is cognitive processing therapy (CPT). When treating PTSD, CPT is frequently the primary option, particularly when dealing with the ongoing repercussions of childhood trauma on adulthood.The American Psychiatric Association advises treatment for PTSD that lasts for at least 12 sessions. This usually entails instruction on the thoughts and feelings associated with PTSD, formal processing of the trauma, and the development of skills for recognizing and dealing with unhelpful thinking connected to traumatic events.

Play Therapy

Play therapy employs the healing potential of play to assist children in overcoming trauma. Children aged three to twelve are the target population for play therapy.A child can be observed by the therapist while engaging in play during a session of play therapy. They can address trauma and create coping mechanisms using this age-appropriate behavior.

Art Therapy

In order to address and treat the long-term consequences of traumatic situations, art therapy involves creative expression. Drawing, coloring, painting, collage, and sculpting are examples of artistic media.According to the American Art Therapy Association, art therapy offers a verbal-free release. It can aid in increasing cognitive function, promoting self-worth and self-awareness, easing conflict and stress, and developing emotional resilience.


Research shows that if you do not pause and reflect, and try to draw the meaning from what you remember, your kids – whether you want or not – will receive the negative feeling that you’ve received and you didn’t make sense of.

Without abuse or neglect, childhood trauma can also happen when a caregiver has experienced their own trauma. This may restrict and limit their ability to address the emotional needs and demands of their own children.

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December 7, 2022